I mentioned in my first post that I got hospitalized — it’s due to seppaku sōzan; I dilated on my 22nd week of pregnancy. Before Christmas I was already told that I might get hospitalized in the beginning of the year, for 3-4 months til I give birth, so I didn’t really enjoy the holiday season as much as I wanted.

On the day I was going back to be confined, I said goodbye to my 2-year old son before he went to daycare. Oh how I cried a lot like in Filipino teleserye. My son probably didn’t understand what was going on, but when he got home that day he was looking all over for me and he was sad that I was gone. My husband took a video of it and sent to me… to make me cry even more. Thank you very much!

My husband took me to the hospital but he was only allowed until the elevator hall (because of the current “pandemic situation”), so I hugged him, said goodbye and tried not to cry. The receptionist led me to my room, which is a shared room with four beds. There were already three other patients there; their curtains were closed and they were very silent. I settled on my bed and tried not to make any noises. The receptionist went over the “house rules” and there it was written — be silent and avoid causing disturbance to the other patients. That’s why…

A nurse midwife came later and tried to take some blood for a blood test. Yes, she “tried”, twice, but failed so she called another nurse midwife to help. Facepalm. After successfully taking my blood, they set up for IV infusion, which also failed the first time. Double facepalm. It was quite worrying to be honest. I wanted to escape and run home!

The doctors explained that in the IV, they’re giving me Ritodrine which is a drug to help stop the belly from tightening, as tightening could lead to preterm labor. They said they will also give me antibiotics and clean me “down there” everyday to avoid any bacteria from reaching the placenta since it’s already exposed. They might give me steroids too, to help with the baby’s development if my preterm labor progresses. They also talked about the MFICU and NICU facilities and said there’s a possibility of me and the baby staying there. Etc, etc…

Because of my case I’m not allowed to step out from my room without being pushed on a wheelchair. I’m not allowed to shower. I wasn’t allowed to go to the lounge which means no phone calls. It eventually changed to “allowed once a week”, but in the beginning it was quite devastating having all these restrictions. I thought, “even prisoners are allowed to shower and make phone calls”…

It was so full-on and too much to take in one day. There was sadness, fear, worry, devastation, and crying. Lots of crying! That’s how my countdown started. Everyone said, “Don’t worry, 3-4 months will fly by quickly”… Really!?

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*seppaku sōzan (切迫早産, Japanese), threatened preterm labor
*teleserye (Tagalog), TV drama series